An Act Of Kindness

Most of us have a good portion of kindness to share. How can we expand that and instill more of it into our kids, where grades and achievements are taking over more and more? Do we have to take a bigger responsibility as parents, maybe even as a society?

I have been touching on Deep kindness before. It is when you are kind when you are low on energy/having a bad day, feel great about it, and do not expect anything back. I would say that the feeling you have inside determines if it is kindness or just people-pleasing. Deep kindness is something we can strive for and seeing my son acting upon it makes me the proudest dad of them all.

A small act of kindness can set you up for more and when you exercise that muscle it will become more natural. It will take less energy and you will attract more of it around you. So where can we start to get our small one's attention toward kindness?

Show the way

Can be you, or anyone close to the child. Can be a story or it can come directly from a book.

Start small

Family and friends first. Put down some guidelines, cooperation is important. In our home, we try to include our son in as much as possible even if the chore will take a little bit longer. Nowadays my son is the fastest one on the vacuum cleaner if something gets dirty.

Acknowledge good behavior

I like the idea of focusing on the positive and reinforcing that. Compliment the good action together with a big smile and a high five. If you want to take it one step further then you can talk about the feeling your child had when he did an act of kindness.

Mindfulness

I guess everyone wants a present child, but it can be hard with our busy schedules and all these beautiful technologies out there. So talk with them about what they watching/playing and see if they can find some warm-heartedness on the screen. I know it's hard to compete with but often they just need your presence. Can be as easy as taking a stroll inside the park.

Gratitude

Start with thank you and take it from there. There are endless things you can be grateful for, so no rush.

Patience & Safe space

If we can give our close ones a safe place to express their feelings. Then they are more in balance to act when the chance comes. Patience is something I see so many struggle with. Not only parents but teachers and the rest of the society too. Every child is on their own timeline.

Try to see things through their eyes or maybe someone else. Perspective-taking is a great tool. How do you think that man felt when you held up the door for him?

Think first and talk later

I had a big problem with this when I was I kid (I still have it in "fight or flight mode"). I still remember when my friend's big sister told me to count to five before I said something (I do not remember what I told her but I guess it was bad). My approach today is to tell my son that when you say something you can never take it back, so think carefully before you speak.

During my life, I met so many kind people. Both in Sweden growing up and also in all the countries I visit during my life. My hope is that my son also will look for the kindness in people and help spread it around the world like wildfire.

Writing this post made me scroll through the internet with the word kindness in the search bar. I ended up with a writer who shared her favorite stories of kindness. It was true stories from her fans, everything from friends who had given up a kidney, to a boss who had given away his own vacation days when his employee was sick. Emotionally as I am, it brought me to tears. Just think how wonderful it would be if we could stumble upon an act of kindness a little bit more often.

Thank you.